Originally Published on our old blog (Opposites Attract) on March 26, 2015
I guess among any lover, there is that lingering question if you’re that “it” guy your partner is to undoubtedly spend the rest of his/her life with (unless you are: pretty sure, the assuming kind or just that confident)…
How then are you to react or even act on the eventuality if indeed there is this “THE ONE that got away” as far as your partner is concerned?
Will feeling bad be normal? Will jealousy be a nagging issue? Will it be an open subject you and your partner can talk about diplomatically? Or will you prove that you’re the reason why it was better for “THAT ONE” to have gotten away?
And for a chance to secure equivalence to somehow feel better, will you likewise assume that you are also someone else’s “the one that got away” perhaps or maybe you have “set freed” your own ‘the one’?
To feel better actually, one has to brush-off insecurity and give this question instead some serious thought: “How do you even know if that person is indeed ‘the one’ without sufficient basis?”.
It takes substantial realization based on considerable “getting to know” stages and gauges – it’s like failing to really attest how a seeming big fish for a catch is as tasty if you haven’t had the chance to cook and eat it…
Yes, you’d most likely regret to have such prize-catch carelessly get away as it fluttered for freedom… Make that “flattered freedom” as it just feels free and is flattering to ensnare such a prize.
However, that prize is just comparable to a display-trophy wherein the best reward in fact is the (self-) fulfillment and pride of gaining victory; the trophy is just a tangible attestation…
Unless, what you’re more concerned about is what people see and remember rather than what you really feel and value. One notable reality is that others bear in mind what their (judgmental) eyes perceive, whereas, your own experience is what will create memories you yourself will treasure…
Their minds may be fed, however, your soul is nourished.
Now, what if you’ve known “the one” to an extent you “finish each other’s sentences”? (Then, you should have finished just the sentences; the problem with the sentence however: He said “It’s” and she finished it with “over”…) What if you’re sure that it’s beyond the physical aspect? What if “that guy’s guise” is not “display-material”?
Well, as a matter of substance, we have to identify attributes beyond physicality as to why one is indeed considered “the one” that got away.
What if you were just a victim of or “trapped within” some circumstance wherein you needed to let go however you still love each other?
Let us look into a few factors and if each of these is similarly considered as a criterion:
Character – Does it complement that of your own as close as it defines compatibility? You should understand that compatibility could differ from harmony as much as complementing differences could vary from how ‘opposites attract’… Something that lacks spark could have ‘agreeableness’ trigger boredom. Same thing with how peculiarities may serve to develop acceptance…
Preference – like ‘likes’, does liking the same thing likely assure a likable union full of “whether you like it or not”? Come to think of it (or shall we say “whether you like it or not”), the better way to gauge your complementing togetherness is how it’s working notwithstanding your “unlikely correlative partiality” as some basis for respect that corresponds with tolerance and acceptance…
History – Along the “getting to know each other” stage, ones past is a good basis to gauge someone else’s future (would-be) persona but it’s not the best. We have to take into consideration that what’s being worked on is a new beginning potentially headed towards what’s next with yesterday as some guiding principle; although the two of you as principal guide for your own collaborative as much as correlative story…
Status – This either manifests the history (his (or her) story) or validates how the past molded today’s character… But would you judge a car based on the road it traversed on or the path it’ll take rather than its capacity to serve its function to take you where you’d rather be… Besides, you know for a fact that you can’t expect a sports car to smoothly go through some rough terrain intended for 4×4 trucks… For all you know, you could end up catching a big fish only to be surprised how it’s just what it is sans substance…
Physicality – As shallow as this may be, it’s a matter of appreciation between say that flashy sports car and with that of a good-ol’ 4×4 pickup truck towards a course with “ups and downs”… What you’d use is up to you; either one could probably get you there; it still depends on what you will be going through… How it will respond depends on how it will be driven as much as how you’d discern between aesthetic flarings and circumstantial performance… Just like comparing it with that big fish for a prize, will your basis be: satisfying your hunger or your taste buds?
Tall, dark, six-pack and all or “the boy next you’d shut the door”?
Circumstance – or reason… You are in your current state for a reason…
If your reason, other than these criteria and the probability of you being psychic and all, is merely based on “what ifs”, then they’re more likely that – not “the one that got away” but your “What-if guy”… At least it is a pending question dependent on how you’d address it instead of an assumption…
Truth of the matter is that whoever you have currently committed yourself to is with a fitting reason being ‘the one’ without you doubting… The only reason you believe there is this “the one that got away” is your notion of yourself being deserving of something you think is a “would’ve-been better choice” for your condescending personality as if without flaws that of which you’re complaining about your current “this one you ended up with instead” to be full of…
If you’re really meant to be, then there shouldn’t be “that one assumption” in the first place. If you think you deserve better, so is your “this one poor guy who ended up with you”…
However, they don’t know of course…😉😉
“A” upon reading this, will most likely doubt… Do I have “the one that got away”? She’s back in my arms…😜
What if… Oops! I’ll zip it!